Suck It, Message Lady

Here's the good-good on how to skip the message lady who makes you wait to leave a voicemail. Hit 1. Wait. If it gives you an error, hit star. Wait. If it gives you an error, hit pound. Now you'll be pounding out a message. It's that easy.

I'm T Mobile, btw, so just hit pound when you callin me, baller.

A Serious Man

It's that new Coen Bros joint!

Home, Where I Want to Be

Miles Fisher's cover of the Talking Heads song This Must Be The Place. The video mashes the lyrical content with American Psycho. I'm gonna say American Psycho the movie, not the book, as it owes more of its visual style to Mary Herron's film than Bret Easton Ellis' novel. Miles Fisher, whom you may remember from the fake/funny Tom Cruise Scientology video from that stupid Superhero Movie.


Amazing American Psycho Music Video - Watch more Funny Videos

via MeFi

New Left 4 Dead Boss Monster

Sometimes, in order for something to be truly terrifying, it has to be a little hilarious. Like this boss monster in the new Left 4 Dead. She's hilarifying!



By way of Offworld...

omgwtflol

I haven't blogged since Monday. Busy week. Also, hangover.

Additionally: Godzilla Loves Pudding = Champions!

The Too Young News Team

I don't trust them. I don't trust their stories about the wonders of Resveratrol. Why do you need a microphone while you're writing articles?

News 13 Direct, I think you're hiding something.

Godzilla Loves Pudding

Lucky Yates was making fun of improv team names and came up with Godzilla Loves Pudding. I thought that it was a great team name, and stole it. Now, on Tuesday night, the unstoppable comedy force of Me, Quinn Marcus and Kevin Cobbs will attempt to comedy-battle two other improv teams to the death. We may very well perform so awesomely that the world will shift on its axis, spinning around backward and preventing Margot Kidder from driving her car straight into that earthquake. Catch 23 Atlanta. 7.21.09. The Earl.

That is all.

Plus this:

Blowjob Roadshow

Jon Golbe, one of the genuises behind my favorite adolescent crime drama Teen Homicide, is at it again with Blowjob Roadshow. Holy god, there's a line in there that kills me every time I think about it.

Dave Hill Gets Drunk

Sometimes, getting drunk makes you say the best things...

Robin Williams in a Good Movie?

This only happens every ten years or so...

Breakup Music

This American Life's episode "Break Up" is awesome. It covers breakups from several perspectives and ends with some historical perspective. And also a cute story about a dog.

It's also got me thinking about breakup songs. There's a lot of different types. Phil Collins' Against All Odds is up there. There's a nice bit in the TAL podcast about it. Ween's It's Gonna Be All Right is hopeful; hope is a nice thing to have in a breakup song. My first major adult breakup wouldn't have been complete without Fiona Apple's Criminal.

What else? I've been googling breakup songs for like an hour now. I'm obsessed.

aga

Typed in "AGA" into my Itunes and out came this badass mix!

We Live Again
Sing It Again
The Boy Done Wrong Again
You've Been Flirting Again
On The Road Again
Me Against the Music
Over and Over Again (Lost & Found)
Blanky Whipped Again
Whitesnake-Here I Go Again
Single Again
Once Again
12-guns_n_roses-madagascar.DeLuXe
Niagara Falls
Do It Again
Could We Start Again Please
We'll Meet Again
The Saga
Song Against Sex
We Were Born The Mutants Again With Leafling
Love Rain O'er Me / Saga
Against All Odds
Yacht Club (Feat. Magazeen)
Let's Hear That String Part Again, Because I Don’t Think They Heard It All The Way In Bushnell
Everything Right Is Wrong Again
Against All Odds
My Life Is Starting Over Again
There She Goes Again
Our Paths Will Cross Again
Glad I Found You. Again.
Let's Hear That String Part Again, Because I Don't Think They Heard It All The Way Out In Bushnell

Bruno, Behind the Scenes

This article breaks down the production notes from Bruno, allowing us an interesting look at how they accomplished some of their more impressive stunts.

She Said What We Were All Thinking

Meggan Mallone, twittering pornstar and film critic, lets us in on her deep thoughts on Bruno.

"saw bruno last night... wow.. i hate to say it but i walked out, if i wanted to see ATM for 2 hours i will just go to work..xoxo"

Surprisingly, most of these links are SFW.

It Goes Without Saying

That yes, that's exactly what my cyborg name would be.

Get Your Cyborg Name

Realization

I'm only racist when I stub my toe.

That Food is Spolt!

A boring post about something that I wonder about all the time. I think I've even posted about it before. How long do food stay good?

Another Irrelevant Dead Celebrity

Fred Travalena died recently. As we can see from this clip, his comedy career died long before.

His impression of Jack Nicholson is an exercise in how not to do comedy. It's base, it grubs for lapplause and, worst of all, it isn't funny. Well, it's funny to me, but not in a good way. Seriously, the income tax bit?

Rijizzulous

You'd be amazed at how hard it was to get rijizzulous added to Urban Dictionary. But I did, and now it's done. Boom!

Boooooooooooo!

Jane Lynch is leaving Party Down for the greener pastures of Glee.

GaBooo!

Gaffney Gatter update

The Gaffney Gatter got gatted in Gaston. Story here.

We Can Do It...Together!

I'm starting a campaign to name South Carolina's newest serial killer "The Gaffney Gatter." Pass it on.

Kristen Schaal is a Horse

You know who I never get sick of? Kristen Schaal. She's the beans. She could do anything and I'd watch it. That stupid little laugh of hers is my favorite.

Dunno who the other guy is, but if he's with Kristen, he's cool with me.

imaginary gardens with real toads in them

Marianne Moore was a poet. She wrote a poem about poetry and called it "Poetry." She kept revising it for 50 years. Ford asked her to help them name a car. She suggested they call it the "Resilient Bullet." Or perhaps the "Ardante Con Moto." How about "Pastelogram?" No? Oooh, the "Utopian Turtletop." Ford contemplated these, and ended up going with "Edsel." Oh well.

Graph Jam Works The Percentages

And comes up with this nugget.